https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVZUm32MGZI

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an effort to imbue Marines with the rudimentary literary skills needed to succeed in an increasingly technical and modern Corps, Gen. Joseph Dunford expanded the Marine Corps Commandant’s Professional Reading List to include classical works of children’s literature such as Everyone Poops, sources told Duffel Blog.

The sweeping initiative, following closely on the heels of the new Commandant’s controversial mandate banning the prolific utterance “Ooh-rah,” is part of Dunford’s ambition to field the 21st century Marine, a warrior who “not only fights, but can also read and write.”

The program, dubbed “No Marine Left Behind,” aims to stimulate Marines’ intellectual development through a rigorous curriculum that associates an assortment of colors with basic food groups — predominantly fruits and vegetables — as well as indigenous American fauna and a variety of domesticated animals encountered on one elderly Mr. MacDonald’s farm.