This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
MEDCOM classifies hemorrhoids as sensitive items
Hospitals flooded with questions regarding retention
Buckle up, Buttercup
FORT SAM HOUSTON, Tx. — United States Army Medical Command (MEDCOM) has announced hemorrhoids will now be considered sensitive items. The decision means that soldiers seeking treatment for the condition will now be subject to increased scrutiny, regulation, retention rules, and somehow more bureaucracy.
The Army defines sensitive items as any item of particular value, military significance, or attractiveness requiring higher security measures and stricter accountability. Previously, sensitive items included weapons, ammunition, medical supplies, and paint for some reason.
More Stories
Staff command works hard to accomplish nothing
Red Friday
|
Pentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supporters
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
|
Trump strikes deal to buy precision missiles from North Korea
Duffel Blog Staff
|
Air Force IG uncovers SNACKOs taking kickbacks from Big Insulin
R.J. Williams
|
Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
|
Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
Bull Winkle
|
Duffel Labs
A field desk of military mischief and useful bad ideas
Pentagon Buzzword Generator
Generate authentic defense jargon.
Pocket NCO
Leadership advice with a knife hand.
Navy SEAL Book Generator
One click. Instant airport bestseller.
DD-214 Fortune Teller
Your civilian future, declassified.
Military Speech Builder
Remarks for ceremonies and mandatory fun.
Veteran Benefits Finder
Find benefits you might have missed.
View all Labs tools →
