WASHINGTON — Department of Veterans Affairs Secretary David Shulkin forgot to fire himself despite promising to rid his agency of corruption and mismanagement, sources confirmed today.

"I'm taking this opportunity to right the department and remove employees who have served themselves instead of our nation's veterans," Shulkin told reporters, in between being fanned by aides and taking mouthfuls of fresh grapes, after an Inspector General report was released that criticized VA for mismanagement and financial distress.

The new report came just weeks after another IG report was released, which found Shulkin had taken a taxpayer-funded $122,000 vacation with his wife to Europe to take in the sights, watch tennis, and talk about veterans' issues for about two-and-a-half minutes.