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Situation Report
Vandal unable to find statue of Confederate warrant officer to deface
DUNN, N.C. — Moments after setting fire to a statue of World War II veteran Maj. Gen. William C. Lee, which he mistook for a statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee, a local vandal was unable to find any statues of Confederate warrant officers to deface, sources confirmed today.
"I don't see any warrant officer statues around here at all. I could have sworn there was supposed to be a warrant officer statue here," said activist Tad Joshua. "Oh well. They must be at dental."
While federal government reports indicate at least 200 statues of Confederate warrant officers are on display across the southern U.S,, no one has ever reported seeing one. However, at least one statue did leave an out-of-office note.
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