NORFOLK, Va. — A veteran found himself in an predicament when it came time to pay for his traditional wing combo after a group lunch break at the local Buffalo Wild Wings — he did not have a USAA card, sources confirmed today.

Navy veteran Phil Cohen watched in utter humiliation as coworker after coworker placed down USAA debit and credit cards to split the check.

“I was right about to flip out my Diner’s Club card when I just froze and realized I’m not part of the whole USAA club,” said Cohen. “There wasn’t enough cash in my wallet, so I had to go through several scenarios on how to handle the situation — pretend someone stole my wallet, go to the bathroom and never come back, or pour the rest of my beer on my head and plead insanity.”