COLUMBUS, Ohio – Professional veteran Rob Owens is “damn nigh untouchable” in a social media debate, Facebook sources say, though they remind you under no circumstance to forget to graciously thank the sophistic wizard and veteran justice warrior for his service.
“Some friends and I were having a logical discussion about women in combat when [Owens] barged in saying how we all would have supported Hitler,” recounted Jason Goldman, an investment broker from Long Island, N.Y.
A proud, four-year veteran of the United States Marine Corps, Owens, 25, has trumped every Internet thread he’s been a part of by calling attention to his military service, masterfully rendering all opposing points of view null and void.
“I understand that as a soldier Mr. Owens has ascended beyond the plane upon which we mere mortals dwell,” Goldman stated, unaware he will be blasted in an hour for confusing soldiers with Marines.
