GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — During a recent campaign rally in Michigan, supporters and potential voters of the Harris-Walz ticket got a glimpse of Governor Tim Walz’s previous career as an Army sergeant major when a sleepy rallygoer brought out Walz’s inner senior noncommissioned officer.

“This is a campaign of joy and looking forward!” the former National Guardsman of 24 years shouted before observing one of the rally’s attendees starting to doze off. “Vice President Harris and I intend to…what the F…wake him up! Hey, hero, stand up and get to the back of the hall! God dang!”

Walz continued, “I better not see any more god dang eyelids from up here, Hooah? If you can’t stay awake, I got something for you! Y'all wanna play games? Cuz I got more games than god darn Milton Bradley! We can do this rally from the front leaning rest, Roger?”