Southern Poverty Law Center classifies VFW and American Legion as hate groups

MONTGOMERY, Ala. — The Southern Poverty Law Center has announced it would include prominent American veterans’ organizations American Legion and Veterans of Foreign Wars in its listing of hate groups, sources confirmed today.

In a written statement signed by SPLC President J. Richard Cohen, the organization said both the VFW and Legion were included since many of their members sympathize with radical, extreme-right-wing ideals such as freedom, safety, and family values.

“I hate to criminalize a group of decorated war veterans,” Cohen said, from somewhere deep within a fog of pit sweat in his corporate think-tank steam room, where Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Moscow) was seen relaxing in the nude.

“But these people revere statues of soldiers who have fought in wars where minorities and women weren’t allowed to fight.”

According to the SPLC, members of the Legion and VFW are well-known for inciting extreme hatred against enemies of the United States, and for engaging in violent behavior. VFW members, for example, have been known to carry out shootings, stabbings, and bombings in countries around the world for more than 100 years.

All told, members of the Legion and VFW have been responsible for the deaths of billions of people, SPLC said.

“They are some of America’s oldest and most deadly hate groups,” said Cohen.

The SPLC issued an email alert to its followers notifying them of the new danger of the extreme veterans’ organizations, while others learned of the inclusion with a new posting on its “Hatewatch” website.