Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Monday, 5 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 119

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

5 October 2026

1201 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
Guides · Page 2

A guide to breaking up with your deployed spouse

Filed · 1550

Photo by Joel Rivera-Camacho / Unsplash

Being a military spouse has been called the toughest job in the military, mostly by people who haven’t done any other job in the military. Regardless, it’s always difficult to break up with your significant other while they’re deployed. But you don’t have to go it alone. We are here for you, with an easy to follow four-step process to make your next deployment divorce the smoothest one yet.

Step 1: Cheat on them

It’s totally unrealistic to expect you to go six months without having sex. We haven’t had a dry spell like that since we were eight years old! Luckily, this shouldn’t be too tough, provided you have a pulse and you live within a hundred miles of a military base. You can even leave your wedding ring on and some lonely Staff NCO still won’t hesitate to fuck you senseless. Semper Fidelis indeed!

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!