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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 131 · Tuesday, 3 November 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Secretary says historic artifact looks better without America's allies

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

Army FRG unveils haunted house featuring spouses saying ‘I’m fine’

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Vol. 15 · No. 131

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 131 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

3 November 2026

1913 Zulu

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Guides · Page 2

A guide to breaking up with your deployed spouse

Filed · 1550

Photo by Joel Rivera-Camacho / Unsplash

Being a military spouse has been called the toughest job in the military, mostly by people who haven’t done any other job in the military. Regardless, it’s always difficult to break up with your significant other while they’re deployed. But you don’t have to go it alone. We are here for you, with an easy to follow four-step process to make your next deployment divorce the smoothest one yet.

Step 1: Cheat on them

It’s totally unrealistic to expect you to go six months without having sex. We haven’t had a dry spell like that since we were eight years old! Luckily, this shouldn’t be too tough, provided you have a pulse and you live within a hundred miles of a military base. You can even leave your wedding ring on and some lonely Staff NCO still won’t hesitate to fuck you senseless. Semper Fidelis indeed!

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