The US Air Force has shot down a military spouse over a base in Texas after mistaking the “large, blimp-like object” for a Chinese spy balloon.

“All these spy balloon sightings have had us on high alert. When we saw this globular, bulbous mass lurching towards base we had to take it out,” Maj. Derek Lambert said. “Turns out it was just Staff Sgt. Johnson’s wife going to the commissary to get a party size bag of Doritos.”

Soon after the incident, Lambert’s squadron nearly bombed the on-base McDonald’s after sighting what appeared to be a coordinated attack by multiple spy balloons. Luckily, they pulled up before anyone was hurt. The brash, screechy clucking noises coming from the targets indicated they were military spouses.