Archive - Duffel Blog

Lieutenant won't shut the fuck up about IPAs

“He won’t stop,” said Sgt. Jake Mendoza, rolling his eyes.

Mar 24 •

Duffel Blog’s Guide to joining a foreign military

Looking for a fresh start in a foreign land? We've got you covered.

Mar 21 •

Duffel Blog Staff

TRANSCOM renamed PENISORVAGINACOM to comply with Presidential Directives

"It's super awkward to put on my LinkedIn profile," said Gen. Randall Reed, the commander.

Mar 19 •

Pentagon offers Black recruits exciting opportunities as cooks, truck drivers

"“All the DEI nonsense muddied the waters of where Black merit traditionally lies in the military," a spokesman said.

Mar 17 •

Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh

Hegseth orders military to paint 'Z' on all vehicles

The markings will distinguish U.S. forces from “freedom-hating and war-mongering Ukrainians,” according to Hegseth.

Mar 14 •

Task Force Football Bat

VA Secretary promises to personally punch every veteran in the nutsack

“If you’re excited about these changes, just wait til you see what I do to your balls.”

Mar 12 •

Pentagon establishes Task Force of Task Forces to address need for Task Forces

“So, naturally, we formed a task force to determine whether we had too many task forces."

Mar 10 •

Satan growing concerned he overpaid for JD Vance’s soul

“I guess I thought there was more humanity to unravel with J.D.”

Mar 7 •

Hegseth’s top tips on using the Warrior Ethos to abandon allies and warfighters

Here are Hegseth’s best “easy outs” for serving allies and partners a big cold dish of reality.

Mar 5 •

Leidos wins $10 billion contract to write 5 bullets on what fed employees did last week

The company has been "an industry-leading innovator in bullet point technology for over five decades."

Mar 3 •

February 2025

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