SAN ANTONIO, Texas — The fate of the 747 slated as the new Air Force One, recently gifted from the government of Qatar, is in doubt. In a surprising decision, the Defense Counterintelligence and Security Agency (DCSA) denied the aircraft a top-level security clearance because of what officials call a “staggering amount” of close foreign contacts.

“Having a few international friends is normal after living in Qatar,” said DCSA spokesperson Alicia Hoover. “But this plane has more foreign connections than a Marine battalion on a port call with Tinder Gold.”

Hoover explained that the aircraft needs a high-level clearance for handling the nation’s most sensitive communications and war plans. The plane submitted a standard security package, but attached 32 continuation pages listing “close personal contacts.”

“It’s less like a background form and more like the cast list of Aladdin on Ice,” Hoover said.

The would-be Air Force One and flying SCIF denies any substantial foreign entanglements and claims it’s being targeted for its “blended multinational lineage.”