C-5 on Ramstein ramp spends entire World War III in timeout

Strategic airlift mission replaced by strategic pub crawl

RAMSTEIN AIR BASE, GERMANY — As World War III came to an end recently with no clear victor, the one constant throughout the entire fight was the C-5 Galaxy sitting on the ramp at Ramstein Air Base. What started as a hydraulic leak led to an overhaul of the hydraulic lines throughout the aircraft, spanning the entirety of World War III in the Middle East.

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“When we landed at Ramstein, our jet started pissing hydraulic fluid like a drunken E-3 on liberty,” said C-5 Flying Crew Chief Staff Sgt. Evan Warren. “The estimated fix time kept slipping and slipping, then all of a sudden, the war was over, and our squadron was directing us to fly commercial back home.”