The following is an opinion article by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth.

At ease, patriots. Listen up because I’m only going to say this 15 or 20 more times.

Nobody is fucking going anywhere until we have 100% accountability of all sensitive items, exquisite munitions, and long-range precision weapons in the United States military.

The boss wants this Iran thing wrapped up, and apparently firing hundreds of cruise missiles, Patriots, THAAD interceptors and other expensive-ass shit means we are starting to run low on them.

I don’t want to hear any pissing and moaning. You people should have seen this coming.

We destroyed Iran’s military months ago. Then we destroyed it again. Then a third time. Unfortunately, they keep showing up for work, so we may have to destroy it several more times before they understand that they’ve been destroyed.

So I need every commander in every service to conduct a hands-across-America sensitive-items inventory immediately.

Somewhere out there is a Tomahawk you thought somebody else signed for. I want that motherfucker.

Maybe there’s an air-launched cruise missile being used as a picnic table at Minot. Or there's some Navy chief out there with three TLAMs shoved behind a paint locker because moving them would require updating a spreadsheet. Perhaps there's an Army warrant officer sitting on six THAAD interceptors since 2019 because nobody ever specifically asked him about them.

Check, goddamnit. I want to physically see the missile.

And don’t come back telling me something is “accounted for” because it appears on a property book.

If the hand receipt says you have 12 and there are 11 sitting there, congratulations: We are all staying until somebody finds number 12.

I don’t care if the guy who signed for it PCSed four years ago. Get him on the damn phone.

To encourage honesty, we’ve placed amnesty boxes at installations worldwide. If you have an unauthorized high-end munition, just put it inside. No questions asked.

I don't care if you took a JASSM home as a souvenir or if your squadron has been using an SM-6 as a coat rack. Maybe you found a Patriot interceptor behind the barracks and were afraid to say anything.

Today is your day.

It doesn't matter how it got there. We just need it back.

And before anybody asks: Yes, missiles displayed outside headquarters buildings count. There is no such thing as a “ceremonial Tomahawk” anymore. Not when China exists.

This isn’t just about Iran. We need enough weapons left over to deter China, defend Taiwan, defend Guam, defend Japan and fight whatever other war we accidentally discover we’re already in by then.

People keep telling me long-range munitions production requires years of industrial planning, specialized supply chains, and sustained procurement.

Bullshit. Have you checked the motor pool?

Frankly, I don’t like this any more than you do. I’ve got things to do. But the old man says we’re staying here until we have enough missiles for Iran, the Pacific, and whatever comes next, or until everybody stops asking about the Epstein files.

I don’t need to tell you which requirement I expect us to meet first.

So when I dismiss you, I want to see assholes and elbows. Check every office, bunker, hangar, ship, warehouse and wall locker in the Department of War.

And if anybody finds a pallet marked “DO NOT INVENTORY — CENTCOM,” leave it exactly where it is and call me personally.

I’ll be in my office doing pull-ups if you need me. This strategic logistics bullshit has interfered with my PT program long enough.