Archive - Duffel Blog

Navy kicks off 'Incel to Intel' recruiting campaign

The service's novel approach is to recruit technologically adept virgins into the intelligence community.

12 hrs ago •

Hegseth congratulates historic last ever female to complete Best Ranger competition

"I’ve personally fired every female commander I can find, and now one has completed Best Ranger?”

Apr 28 •

Paul J. O’Leary

Leaked: Hegseth’s plan to 'de-gay' the military

Duffel Blog obtained the confidential memo.

Apr 25 •

Trade Wars Service Medal delayed by China tariffs

"The supplier increased the cost by 145%."

Apr 23 •

Pope dies rather than spend 15 more minutes with a POG

Anonymous clergy sources confirmed that Francis had reviewed Vance’s background and uttered the words “Not today, Satan."

Apr 22 •

Navy to outfit subs with torpedo bats

A 34-inch, 32-ounce piece of American maple hurtling through international waters with big league dreams.

Apr 21 •

Soldier who doesn't care about politics ready to deter Russian-backed Chinese Iranians

“I just want to do my job, follow orders, and not think about all that foreign policy blah blah blah.”

Apr 18 •

Pentagon removes 54th Massachusetts from Army records as 'DEI hires'

"Recruiting an entire regiment based only on skin color? What were we thinking?”

Apr 16 •

Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh

Man who sat out war declares war on those who didn't

"People say, ‘Oh, they risked their lives, they served their country.’ But did they ever have to convince a medical doctor to write a note? I don’t…

Apr 14 •

Clay Beyersdorfer

Pentagon releases list of approved racial and sexual epithets

Names and “zingers” questioning another service member’s sexual orientation are allowed immediately.

Apr 11 •

DoD establishes strategic porn reserve after Canada threatens to disable PornHub

Now our warfighters won’t lose access to the lube that keeps the Defense Department grinding.

Apr 9 •

Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh

Pentagon renames Fort Campbell after the soup

"Remember that we are Army Strong, and we are Mmm Mmm Good.”

Apr 7 •

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