Pentagon to prioritize EUCOM, INDOPACOM, AFRICOM, CENTCOM, SOUTHCOM, NORTHCOM
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US invades Venezuela after discovering massive stores of 'big booty Latinas'
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Newly renamed Secretary of War briefly feels something other than crippling insecurity
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Department of War loses access to $1 trillion DoD budget after name change
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Hegseth announces Pentagon will stop fighting wars, focus on lethality
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Trump recalls Jan 6ers to D.C.
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Air Force base renamed after Ashli Babbitt
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ICE partners with Taliban to round up Afghan interpreters
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Pentagon finds Hegseth pullups as root cause of failures in Iraq, Afghanistan
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Duffel Blog’s guide to failing your sleep study
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Pentagon changes rear admiral rank to something less gay
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National Guard mobilized to pick fruit
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Chimp hanging upside down from lectern named new Pentagon spokesman
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D.C. man forgets to thank Guardsman for his service while being detained
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Putin meets with high-level asset in Alaska
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Adm. McRaven hasn’t made his bed in years, sources say
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Pete Hegseth thrown onto court at WNBA game
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Trump gets Greenland in blockbuster three-way trade with Spain
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Fort Hood promises to keep murdering soldiers, despite name change
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Marine Commandant realizes this is just how it’s going to be now
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