Archive - Duffel Blog

Dyslexic officer cuts IED training from EOD course

“Oops, I got my wires crossed again."

15 hrs ago •

Hegseth budget plan just stick figure with huge tits

Budgetary offices across the service branches are scrambling after receiving the ambiguous guidance.

May 14 •

Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh

This Gorilla learned sign language, and immediately told everyone it went to West Point

"The very first thing he signed was, ‘Dookie, Sir, West Point, Sir!’”

May 12 •

USS Clinton skipper claims he did not have international relations in South China Sea

“You should’ve seen what those beaches were wearing," the captain said.

May 9 •

Medal of Dishonor

Hegseth thinking that DEI Coordinator job at National Guard Bureau looks pretty sweet right now

The embattled Pentagon chief, long viewed as a DUI hire, is looking for the exits.

May 7 •

Applebee's to offer free meals only to WWI veterans

“Honoring the troops is core to our brand,” said Lauren Trent, Applebee’s Chief Marketing Officer.

May 5 •

Duffel Blog Presents: The 10 dumbest military phrases

"There’s no ‘I’ in team" but there are three 'U's in "shut the f--k up"

May 2 •

April 2025

Navy kicks off 'Incel to Intel' recruiting campaign

The service's novel approach is to recruit technologically adept virgins into the intelligence community.

Apr 30 •

Hegseth congratulates historic last ever female to complete Best Ranger competition

"I’ve personally fired every female commander I can find, and now one has completed Best Ranger?”

Apr 28 •

Paul J. O’Leary

Leaked: Hegseth’s plan to 'de-gay' the military

Duffel Blog obtained the confidential memo.

Apr 25 •

Trade Wars Service Medal delayed by China tariffs

"The supplier increased the cost by 145%."

Apr 23 •

Pope dies rather than spend 15 more minutes with a POG

Anonymous clergy sources confirmed that Francis had reviewed Vance’s background and uttered the words “Not today, Satan."

Apr 22 •

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