Archive - Duffel Blog

C-5 on Ramstein ramp spends entire World War III in timeout

Strategic airlift mission replaced by strategic pub crawl

Jul 7 •

Medal of Dishonor

This July 4th, remember to honor veterans who lost limbs last July 4th

Officials urge Americans to keep all limbs attached until at least July 5th

Jul 4 •

Hegseth renames USNS Harvey Milk to USNS James Earl Ray, but a different one

Says move is part of broader strategy to ‘de-gay the gray hulls.’

Jul 2 •

June 2025

Noem visit to LA troops ends in gunfire, K-9 fatality

DHS Secretary insists dog was ‘out of regs and possibly liberal.’

Jun 30 •

Grandma just wants to know if that was you dropping bombs on Iran

Family sources confirm she also believes you’re in charge of NORAD.

Jun 27 •

US accidentally re-invades Iraq

Troops surprised to find old combat outposts still smell like Axe body spray

Jun 25 •

Army birthday parade sparks rediscovery of Von Steuben’s pimp-step parade doctrine

Lost doctrine finally answers the age-old question: What if marching was fabulous?

Jun 23 •

Navy finishes retrofitting F/A-18s with periscopes, torpedoes

After decades of dominating air superiority, Navy shifts focus to dominating water mediocrity.

Jun 20 •

Army Secretary decries 'PowerPoint in parade form' for Trump's birthday

Senior leaders cite “mission creep,” cosplay mishaps, and energy drinks as key factors in birthday parade debacle.

Jun 18 •

After Israel attacks Iran, IndoPacom commander starts hiding missiles under bed

“I’m not letting those goddamn CENTCOM punks steal from me again,” said Adm. Samuel Paparo. “Not this time. Not ever.”

Jun 16 •

Trump declines parade march, citing sudden bone spur flare-up

Insists he's ‘more injured than most heroes’ after learning parade route involves walking.

Jun 14 •

New Air Force One denied security clearance due to excessive foreign connections

Jet claims it was just being polite when Qatari royals “kept climbing inside.”

Jun 13 •

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