ANNAPOLIS, Md. — After losing the annual Army-Navy football game, a coach for the Naval Academy’s midshipmen is ditching 130 years of tradition and refusing to concede the win to the Army team, sources confirmed today.
“We all know that Army only won this game by stealing it,” said Navy Assistant Coach Dirk Bagodix. “They needed to stop counting the points, but they didn’t.”
West Point hosted the 2020 Army-Navy game with attendance limited to cadets, midshipmen, and government dignitaries due to COVID-19 restrictions. Some observers thought it was the most interesting event in West Point history, at least since Benedict Arnold commanded the post in 1780.
“It is statistically impossible for Navy to rush for 52 yards in the second half and still lose,” said the coach. Bagodix called the Army team “super-duper meany cheaters” for “mysteriously” scoring most of its points in the game’s final quarter.
