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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 123 · Wednesday, 14 October 2026

Veterans

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

Hegseth opens up new TradWife MOS

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Vol. 15 · No. 123

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Vol. 15 · No. 123 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

14 October 2026

0603 Zulu

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← Front page
Coast Guard · Page 7

Coast Guard commissions new cutter 'Ashton Kutcher'

The hero of the shallow seas finally gets his due.

Filed · 0500

PHILADELPHIA — The U.S. Coast Guard on Monday commissioned the USCGC Ashton Kutcher (WCC 1256) at Penn’s Landing in honor of the actor who played a Coast Guard rescue swimmer in the film The Guardian.

Adm. Linda Fagan, the commandant of the U.S. Coast Guard, presided over the ceremony and invited Mr. Kutcher, who was not present at the ceremony. However, Lt. Benjamin Wilbanks, an extra in The Guardian, was the ship's sponsor.

"We are so thankful to the Coast Guard for this immense honor. I can't imagine the impact Ashton had on all of you in the Coast Guard. He doesn’t view himself as a hero, but the Coast Guard damn sure says he is. As a person who met him once at craft services, it is a privilege to be a participant in this commissioning as the Coast Guard Cutter Ashton Kutcher is placed into service," said Wilbanks.

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