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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 123 · Wednesday, 14 October 2026

Veterans

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

Hegseth opens up new TradWife MOS

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Vol. 15 · No. 123 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

14 October 2026

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← Front page
Coast Guard · Page 7

Coast Guard saves shark from crazy, delusional police chief

“We see this sort of thing all the time," officials said.

Filed · 1105

AMITY ISLAND — The U.S. Coast Guard has released dramatic footage of a shark being rescued after being attacked by a crazed and mentally disturbed off-duty police chief.

The footage taken onboard a Coast Guard cutter showed a defenseless shark swimming near the bay when a dusty old vessel called the Orca rolled up on the animal and shot it with a harpoon with a barrel attached to it, which, officials noted, was a gross violation of the Marine Mammal Protection Act that could lead to civil penalties up to $11,000 and up to 1 year in prison.

“As soon as we heard about this situation, we knew we would need a vessel larger than the one we had,” Mark Hess, command duty officer at U.S. Coast Guard District One in Boston, said while pulling up his belt and giving a stern look to reporters during a Monday press conference.

The Coast Guard in New England was contacted on Monday by nearby vessels regarding a “group of 3 individuals seemingly harassing a poor defenseless shark,” Hess said.

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