This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Coast Guard's birthday promises to have boatloads of wine coolers
Seas the day!
The Coast Guard has announced a party to end all parties, as every Coast Guard installation is being sent boatloads of wine coolers to kick off the um-teenth birthday of the USCG.
“Gosh, we’re pretty serious about this thing,” said John Sumpter, a Coast Guard spokesman.
“We’ve been making the cooks prepare deviled eggs for days. There’s going to be goldfish party trays, scavenger hunts and a unicorn floatie race. I heard a rumor we are renting chocolate fountains. Even this year’s theme is epic, Seas the Day!”
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Americans begin thanking troops for future service
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