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The Pentagon

DoD bankrupt after Austin blows $300 billion at blackjack table

“Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never thought it would be a good idea to split 10s,” the Secretary remarked sternly.

The Pentagon |
By The Dirty Lt
| 3 min read
0 Comments
DoD bankrupt after Austin blows $300 billion at blackjack table
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ARLINGTON, Va. — The Department of Defense has run out of funding after Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin blew roughly $300 billion at a Las Vegas blackjack table, sources confirmed today.

“This is not the time to cast judgment, because everyone makes mistakes,” said Maj. Gen. Patrick Ryder, a Pentagon spokesman. “The Department of Defense has come back from worst and we all need to just tighten our belts for a little bit and hold out for new funding.”

According to defense officials, a slightly irritated Austin was found at the Harry Reid International Airport in Las Vegas awaiting his 3 a.m. Frontier Airlines flight.

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