10
Stories filed
2024
Filing since
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31 Jul Pentagon Department of Defense stands down after Microsoft Office subscription expires Strangely, the Marine Corps has remained most resilient to this loss of electronic military communication. 2 min 19 Jul Army Army debuts AI-powered NCOs to help with manpower crisis “Now leave requests and sick call notifications can be declined without delay,” said General Randy George. 2 min 12 Jul Pentagon DoD bankrupt after Austin blows $300 billion at blackjack table “Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never thought it would be a good idea to split 10s,” the Secretary remarked sternly. 2 min 24 Jun Army Army issues burlap sacks of grain as new retention bonus “Excuse me? I’m getting what for reenlisting?” 2 min 22 Jun Army National Guard breaks up college protest by throwing enlistment flyers at crowd “All I had to do was tell them they have to wake up before 8 a.m. two days a month and that’s all it took." 2 min 8 Jun Army SMA’s weekend safety brief at GITMO deemed 'cruel and unusual' “Don’t add to the population and don't subtract from the population." 2 min 29 May Navy & Marines United States Navy testing wind-turbine powered aircraft carriers Big Blue to become Big Green 2 min 8 Apr Navy & Marines Navy to increase recruitment by lowering enlistment standards for foreign spies Secretary of Navy Del Toro "proud to see policy reflect reality." 2 min 11 Mar Secretary Austin caught skipping state of the union by making same day Walter Reed appointment “Sorry sir, I can’t go into details because HIPPA" 2 min
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