SHAKOPEE, Minn. — MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell claims that the Taliban’s seizure of control of Afghanistan is a deception, and offered to provide “conclusive, irrefutable” evidence that the U.S. actually won the conflict years ago.

“Don’t buy the press lies,” said Lindell from the MyPillow corporate and cyber investigation headquarters. “We won this war.”

Lindell said he reached this conclusion based on information from his new research team of data miners, formerly employed by attorney Sidney Powell. He also confirmed he’d “learned some lessons” from his recent cyber symposium and “this time my information is airtight”.

“We found literally hundreds of times that military and civilian leaders said we were winning,” said Lindell. “Aside from one commander in Herat who commented, ‘we’re not sucking as much as we did in Iraq,’ in like, a gagillion press briefings, news stories, and Congressional hearings, both commanders and government officials consistently indicated success,”