![No wake zone No wake zone](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19d5df60-786c-4756-8890-53cebcef706c_1000x667.jpeg)
By As for Class
The Coast Guard has announced a party to end all parties, as every Coast Guard installation is being sent boatloads of wine coolers to kick off the um-teenth birthday of the USCG.
“Gosh, we’re pretty serious about this thing,” said John Sumpter, a Coast Guard spokesman.
“We’ve been making the cooks prepare deviled eggs for days. There’s goi…
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