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Congress launches joint select committee to gut-check virility of US military

Unmasculine activities in the armed forces are out

| 2 min read
Congress launches joint select committee to gut-check virility of US military

THE CAPITOL — In the wake of Rep. Matt Gaetz’s railing against ‘woke’ culture in the U.S. military, lawmakers are making a stand where national security is concerned, activating a new Joint Select Committee on Unmasculine Activities in the Armed Forces.

The creation of the committee has been lauded by masculinity experts nationwide, including Rep. Gaetz’s high school girlfriend and Fox News’ Tucker Carlson.

The committee seeks to help the military get a jump start on addressing dangerously low testosterone levels, which will be highlighted in detail by Carlson in his upcoming softcore gay porn documentary, “The End of Men.”

Not ready yet? Fair enough.