We have been plagued with them for decades. Signature block quotes that just hit you right in the cringe bones. Duffel Blog has asked its writers to choose the best of the worst.
Here are their selections.
17:
“He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.”
—Sun Tzu
Basically from any officer in your chain of command. Sun Tzu is still popular thousands of years later.
16:
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
—Marilyn Monroe
By your platoon leader.
15:
“Lions are not concerned with the opinions of sheep.”
—Tywin Lannister
From the oddly shaped, socially awkward analyst who always carries multiple pocket knives on his person but keeps failing to qualify on the rifle range.
14:
“Don’t write me a novel, I won’t read it.”
—Capt. Launchpad McQuack
From your commander, who swears they read all of your SITREPs. Spoiler: they don’t.
13:
"I don't believe that old cliche that good things come to those who wait. I think good things come to those who want something so bad they can't sit still."
—Ashton Kutcher
By the S3 who loves writing orders instead of communicating with people in-person.
12:
“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she'll conquer the world.”
—Marilyn Monroe
From your commander who says she’s a feminist, but you sort of question what era of feminism she hails from.
11:
“Quickness is the essence of the war.”
—Sun Tzu
From your S6, who definitely does not answer any of the troubleshooting tickets or their phone. In fact, have you seen the S6 this week?
10:
"Sent from my iPhone"
—Chief
We know he isn’t at work!
9:
“Don’t quote me if you haven’t read me.”
—Clausewitz
We felt this summed up pretty much all of Clausewitz. Poor Jomini. He rarely gets quoted by people pretending they’ve read historical war theory.
8:
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
—MSG Brock Smith, quoting himself
Well, we’ve all met this lord of ego. Not a lot else to say.
7:
"Some people are like a slinky. Not good for anything, but you'd love to watch them fall down a flight of stairs."
—Your first sergeant who knows he'll never be a sergeant major.
While master sergeant Brock Smith is a dick for quoting himself, this first sergeant is a god for keeping it real.