Russia deploys 10,000 red-cockaded woodpeckers to Ukrainian border

Is this a microaggresion?

By Cat Astronaut

KYIV — In a blatant escalation of tensions in Eastern Europe, Russia has deployed nearly 10,000 red-cockaded woodpeckers to the Ukrainian border to keep U.S. troops at bay, according to intelligence sources.

“We knew Putin liked to fight dirty, but we didn’t think he’d sink this low,” said Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin. “Unfortunately…