Very serious people very seriously protest a thing that is not a thing.

CAMP RUDDER, FL — Florida Governor and likely presidential contender Ron DeSantis today brought suit against the Army unit that oversees the third and final phase of the U.S. Army Ranger School, alleging the unit forces trainees to either accept progressive worldviews or risk being removed from the school.

“Our military is under a frontal attack from radical leftists and their twisted ideology. Sadly, the latest front is Ranger School," DeSantis said to crowded press conference.