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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

2154 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
National Guard · Page 2

Minnesota National Guard reports situation is ‘real serious doncha know, no foolin’

Filed · 1550

MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Minnesota National Guard units mobilized in response to ongoing protests report the situation on the ground is “Serious, dangerous, and just downright uncivilized.”

“Oh yah, hey,” Captain Lina Linasdotterson said to reporters earlier today. “Is it crazy out there? You betcha. However we’re doing our best to reduce violence, stop looting, and provide safe places for all our residents to donate to NPR. We have instituted a curfew, but that’s been ineffective. There's no hockey to watch if they go home.”

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