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Midshipmen say the rainbow dolphins “perfectly capture the soul of Navy football.”
Despite lacking a Ranger tab, defense secretary critiques women who earned theirs
Defense Secretary allegedly confused training for a ‘how-to’ seminar.
Admiral also responsible for 90% of what’s wrong with America
SECDEF roots out deep state bureaucrats pushing radical left ideologies of law and ethics.
Retired as captain, remembered as cautionary tale.
“He promised accountability,” says lawyer holding 3,000-page indictment.
The policy was praised by creepy E-7s going through their second divorce.
Every generation agrees: yours ruined everything.
The ruling has sent shockwaves through the ranks, especially among those who bought essential items like divorce attorneys, energy drinks, and Zyn.
Kingdom's sharp diplomatic gesture cuts through red tape and flesh
He may still join the military, but only after his mom gets back from Bingo.
“We trained our whole lives for this chapter,” sources say.
Insurgents reportedly retreating into suburbs to secure oat milk supplies
“He screamed that tipping was socialism and threw a can of creamed corn at the nearest enlisted kid.”
"Being perpetually blitzed isn’t medically advisable,” said a Navy doctor. “But behaviorally? It tracks.”
After each crossing at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, sentinels now scream “AFLAC!”
It's nice to know he's having the time of his life.
Troops say fruity clouds beat the smell of burning tires.
President promises ‘best, most secret invasion ever — everybody knows it’
Hegseth expected to ring Pentagon bell at close of every operation.
Donation will “tide everyone over” until someone finds seven billion more cans
Highlights new Army values of Loyalty, Duty, Selfless Service, and Landscaping
Technically, the manual offers no guidance on paying an entire Army with a Visa.
Battalion leadership confident spreadsheet power will deter China.
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