Army

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524 stories Updated Jul 21, 2026

How to avoid urinalysis until you can get a wax

We’ve all been there — standing around formation, smoking, joking, putting your hands in your pockets, not realizing that you’re about to get

Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read

From the archive

Native Americans not really interested in COVID masks US Army keeps sending

“The masks are unwarranted, unwelcome, and frankly, a little suspect.”

Nov 9, 2020 · 3 min read

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524 stories in this section

Trump declares fire stories 'fake news' after 82nd Airborne descends onto university of Notre Dame

NOTRE DAME, Ind. — Students at the University of Notre Dame witnessed a spectacular display today as they looked up into the sky —thousands of paratroopers rained over the

Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read

J.R. Majewski recalls moment he killed Bin Laden

He fired 47 shots, all in his head.

Sep 30, 2022 · 2 min read

New Russian Army fitness test to include ‘drop, scream, & run’

Also considering adding the empty fuel can carry

Sep 20, 2022 · 1 min read

Army scientists develop app to help soldiers navigate DUIs

It auto-uploads mugshots to U.S. Army W.T.F! Moments.

Sep 1, 2022 · 2 min read

Army to stop using mold to construct barracks

This is good news.

Aug 26, 2022 · 1 min read

Elon Musk settles for buying Army Knowledge Online

We need to tweet this.

Jul 20, 2022 · 2 min read

Army garrison admits poison supply contaminated by drinking water

America's most precious resource at risk.

Jul 14, 2022 · 2 min read

Army drops 'living pulse' requirement amid recruiting crisis

Diversity hires.

Jul 5, 2022 · 2 min read

Army chef desserts post

That is unsavory behavior.

Jun 29, 2022 · 1 min read

Supreme Court overturns Army tattoo policy

Stay in your lane.

Jun 29, 2022 · 2 min read

Cops mistake Army patrol base for homeless camp

MRE trash was everywhere and they were digging holes.

Jun 19, 2022 · 2 min read

New, quiet lieutenant in unit 'definitely' CID: Report

Definitely sus.

May 7, 2022 · 1 min read

US Army officers wonder why Ukrainians don't just change status from amber to green

It works here.

May 3, 2022 · 2 min read

Elon Musk offers to buy Russian Army for $100, half-empty bottle of Stoli

Now that's a steal.

Apr 25, 2022 · 1 min read

Army physical therapist prescribes simple 6-hour stretching regimen, four times a day

Easy enough.

Apr 12, 2022 · 2 min read

Army to amputate soldiers' hands to prevent use of pockets

High five!

Apr 12, 2022 · 1 min read

The Duffel Blog guide to women's history month

Meet the greatest gen-Her-ation

Mar 20, 2022 · 2 min read

Army admits warrant officers aren’t real

Yes Virginia it's true, there are no warrant officers.

Feb 9, 2022 · 1 min read

Private uses Biden’s open door policy

That escalated quickly.

Jan 29, 2022 · 2 min read

Army announces development of ‘mother of all vaccines’

This is gonna hurt, a lot.

Jan 15, 2022 · 2 min read

Meet the boot who cares about the Army-Navy game

We are just glad someone does.

Dec 10, 2021 · 1 min read

Army commissions first CrossFit chaplain

Dead lifting his way to Heaven.

Nov 8, 2021 · 2 min read

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