Coast Guard

America’s third-favorite Navy

89 stories Updated May 30, 2026

Whale gives Coast Guard cutter 'the fin' after being cut off

BERING SEA — A disgruntled humpback whale returning from his migration journey has reportedly flipped the Coast Guard Cutter Munro ‘the fin’ in response to

Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read

From the archive

No one at the bar can tell if Coast Guard guy is stealing valor

"Do they have rifles? I thought they used harpoons.”

Apr 24, 2021 · 3 min read

Year

Sort

Latest stories

89 stories in this section

Duffel Blog

Coast Guard tells families to “sell your organs, start hooking” to help cope with government shutdown

WASHINGTON — The Coast Guard published a list of recommended actions today that its service members and their families can take to cope with the continuing government shutdown, including

Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read

Duffel Blog

Typo causes Coast Guard to spend millions of dollars guarding nation's coats

A major typo in a recent presidential directive to the Coast Guard has caused the service to expend thousands of man-hours and millions of dollars in resources guarding

Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read

Duffel Blog

Jailed Coast Guard LT claims “plotting domestic terrorism” is how he describes taking a dump

GREENBELT, Md — With claims that sound suspiciously similar to a recent incident at a Home Depot in Kansas, jailed Coast Guard Lt. Christopher Hasson now claims “plotting domestic

Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read

Duffel Blog

Coast Guard icebreaker draws first sea penis

ARCTIC SEA — The Coast Guard icebreaker USCGC Polar Star achieved a world first by drawing a sea penis north of the Arctic Circle, sources confirmed today. “This thing

Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read

Teen becoming officer so he can tell his enlisted stepfather what to do

ST. LOUIS— Charlotte High School graduate Devin Jaskot will soon enter the Coast Guard’s Officer Candidate School this July for the sole reason of bossing around his

Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read