PORTSMOUTH, Va. — The ongoing controversy over how the Navy chooses names for its ships intensified this week following the launch of the USS Your Mother’s a Whore.
The lead vessel of the Navy’s new class of supply ships was christened at Norfolk Naval Shipyard next to her sister ship, the USS Your Father Backs Up Into Doorknobs, which is expected to put to sea later this year. She will rendezvous for her shakedown cruise with the littoral combat ship USS Gabrielle Giffords.
The Navy has drawn controversy in recent years for naming ships after Giffords, a mass shooting victim turned gun control advocate, gay rights pioneer Harvey Milk, and civil rights activist Cesar Chavez, who called his Navy service “the worst two years of his life.” Further outrage was averted late last year when plans for the USS Alex Jones were scrapped on the secret orders of the Trilateral Commission, the Illuminati, and the Council on Foreign Relations.
Still, the new vessels join the fleet at a time when the Navy’s ship-naming conventions have come under fire from conservative lawmakers who allege the military is going woke, and from liberal lawmakers seeking to rename ships and bases named after segregationists and Confederate military victories.
