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Category: Army

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PATCH BARRACKS, Germany — Having recently toured several major military installations, the Supreme Allied Commander and head of US European Command Gen. Curtis Scaparotti expressed bewilderment at the exquisite tidiness of every work-center he has visited. “The realization hit me on the way back from Ramstein,” Scaparotti was overheard telling his enlisted aide. “There has […]
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AUSTIN, Texas — A man who recently left the U.S. Army has gained the inevitable veteran 214 before starting college classes on the G.I. Bill, sources confirmed today. Jason Ennis, 22, received an honorable discharge from the service in January, but he quickly shed his military appearance and gained a couple hundred pounds to better […]
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WASHINGTON — With President Donald Trump’s announcement of a new Space Force service branch, military doctors are preparing themselves for the impossible but now necessary task of performing rocket surgery, sources confirmed today. “When I was enlisted as a medic, if we were failing at something, first sergeant would say ‘it ain’t rocket surgery,’” said Army […]
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