Service desk

Army

Hey, someone has to write the PowerPoint for the war.

533 on file

Updated 1200 Zulu

Page 4

Army

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

Prototype proved too competent, financially responsible for infantry service

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The Army has abandoned an ambitious effort to replace infantry soldiers with artificial intelligence after discovering the technology possessed critical thinking skills, financial literacy, and a tendency to behave in a socially-acceptable manner.

The experimental AI infantryman was designed to perform all the duties of a traditional 11B without requiring food, sleep, enlistment bonuses or a 70% VA disability rating by age 28. Army officials

(Continued inside) →

By Clay Beyersdorfer · 12 Oct · 3 min

Also filed from ArmyNewest first

30 Sep Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit” 2 min 23 Sep Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend Staff says senator’s three-month absence was “routine National Guard obligation” 2 min 18 Sep Army adopts ‘Your body, my choice’ as new recruiting slogan Officials say phrase finally explains military service without misleading recruits 2 min 28 Aug Congress proposes veterans fight to the death for expanded benefits New “Veteran Highlander” program would let survivors absorb defeated veterans’ benefits 2 min 24 Aug Staff command works hard to accomplish nothing Officials report unprecedented progress toward scheduling additional meetings 2 min 10 Aug Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan Leaders say market research confirms younger troops value realistic expectations 2 min 7 Aug Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards Pentagon finds standards only fell when secretary entered new age brackets 2 min 3 Aug Americans begin thanking troops for future service Retail workers say they’re just trying to get ahead of the next Middle East deployment 2 min

Showing 9 of 533 ← Newer Older → Search the back file

The Duffel Brief, by electronic mail

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Army

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

Also filed from ArmyNewest first

Have it delivered free

Find the story you swear someone already wrote.

Your Cart