My name is Kurt Vonnegut, and I fought in the Battle of the Bulge and came slightly unstuck in time. I’m here to give you your weekend safety briefing, which I know you don’t want to hear and I agree you shouldn’t have to hear. No such luck!

During this weekend, which is nothing about military business, there is a microscopic possibility that you will have access to romance and alcohol. I suppose that’s like being exposed to the truth of Christ. You both fear Him and are attracted to Him. Do your best with this truth but don’t do more than your best, because that’s how STDs and caskets get made. So it goes. Next slide.

I was once accepted to the University of Michigan when this offer to me of an appointment to the U.S. Military Academy came out of the blue. At West Point, what I would have liked to have been, at that time, was a pianist. I would have liked to play Chopin. I wanted to impress the commanding officer and his wife. I was terrified of their daughter, so I didn’t want to impress her. But she was the one most impressed, and invited me to her bedroom.