The following is an op-ed piece written by Specialist Jason Smith

No way First Sergeant is keeping us late today, not going to happen. I mean, we got the camo cleaned out and rolled up, the shelters are prepped, and that damn conex is straightened out. Ain't going to happen. It’s been four fucking months since I got home and put this shit in my wife, if you know what I mean - I mean sex.

But for realz, these guys are ridiculous. First Sergeant sits in that damn office all day, wanders out in a fucking Alzheimer’s coma, looks at the numbers on some trucks and then wanders off mumbling to himself. And forget the damn commander, open door policy right? Nah, open-battalion-commander’s-ass-and-insert-head policy is more like. Maybe that’s why we never get off on time. First Sergeant forgot where the hell he was, and the commander is spelunking.