DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Rudyard Kipling gives your weekend safety brief

If yer 'eadin' down to 'Ay Street To 'ave a bit a fun Be sure to take sheepguts, Pretect yerself my son Be sure to cover John Thomas before diving in the minge Be sure to wrap yer willie On porter and pie you'll binge

'Fore ya drink yerself stupid Well, stupider than ya are Make sure ya got a DD 'Fore gettin' in the car Make sure you ain't drivin' On thi…