This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Latest dispatches
The story feed
Page 13 of 177
Wife of deployed soldier endorses Jody for Congress
"We all hear horror stories about Jody and Dear John letters, but I saw this on a campaign ad. I mean, what the fuck?”
3 min read
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127th Chemtrail squadron annoyed Jews get credit for weather manipulation
"Yeah, I’m a little annoyed that, once again, everyone points to the Jews. Running the New World Order is a team effort."
4 min read
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Walz stops rally to tell sleepy attendee to stand up in the back
"Hey, hero, stand up and get to the back of the hall! God dang!"
3 min read
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Colonel sanders, cap’n crunch locked in bitter stolen valor feud
“That loser Crunch has faked being a captain for decades,” said Sanders.
3 min read
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New Marine barracks policy to allow one small animal, catboy, or furry
"This is a huge step forward for inclusivity in the Corps," said Lt. Col. Nathan Fluffmaster.
3 min read
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Army establishes virtue signal Corps
The operational support branch is responsible for self-righteous, performative displays of arbitrary moral superiority across all domains of warfare.
4 min read
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Zyn, Rip It sponsor first enlisted VP debate
"Who better to sponsor this historic debate than these two powerhouses of enlisted life?”
2 min read
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Vance gets light duty to avoid debating Sergeant Major
Smooth move.
3 min read
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4 reasons why Duffel Blog should moderate the VP debate
We’ll ask the hard-hitting questions.
2 min read
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Guardsman solves horse-sized duck vs. duck-sized horses field problem
The barracks room debate is over, thanks to the National Guard.
3 min read
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Walz earns support with key 'guys who consider Kuwait a deployment' demographic
Walz has seen the horrors of routine training events in partner countries.
3 min read
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Spray tan and Diet Coke being tested for bullet proof qualities, Pentagon says
The former president may be onto something.
4 min read
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Semi-literate gunny won’t stop saying 'demure'
He reads at a third-grade level.
4 min read
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'It's like living in a school zone,' says rattled secret service agent protecting Trump
"What am I, seven years old?” said Special Agent David Radcliff.
3 min read
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Pentagon reveals soldiers have eaten cats and dogs for decades
"It turns out that the mysterious meat served in DFACs was not the ‘Grade-H beef’ we claimed."
3 min read
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Berkeley home depot unveils 10% military surcharge
"A perfect way to show our veterans how much this community respects their service.”
3 min read
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Al Qaeda marks 9/11 anniversary with honor flight to New York
The State Department has condemned the plan as “appalling” and “outrageous,”
4 min read
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Air Force one makes emergency landing at dairy queen
The president really wanted a Blizzard®
3 min read
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Future Gold Star families torn over who will offer least support when their child dies
"Do I want Trump to forget to call me or Harris? It’s a pickle.”
4 min read
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5 dead, 3 hospitalized after airmen try MREs on a dare
Don't try this at home, kids.
2 min read
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Corpsman recommends masturbating into clean, dry socks
'Yes, CLP is a lubricant. No, it is not meant for you'
4 min read
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Trump criticized for 'sneaking in a quick nine' at Arlington national cemetery
“Where’s McCain?” Trump asked. “I want to make a chip shot off his headstone.”
3 min read
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Opinion: This page maliciously left blank
You can’t control Ctrl+F me? Well, Ctrl+F you, pal.
3 min read
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Iran threatens Israel with 'Updog' weapon
Iran has remained tight-lipped on the exact nature of this new threat.
3 min read
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Is America ready for a POG vice president?
“I thought I could trust J.D., but this changes everything,” said Gertrude Witherscotch, an 87-year-old voter.
3 min read
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