This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Latest dispatches
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Page 12 of 177
Senate orders Hegseth to complete professional military education
President-elect Donald Trump’s Secretary of Defense nominee, Pete Hegseth, has hit an unusual roadblock.
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Trump vows revenge on Milley by again making him Chairman of Joint Chiefs
Milley will be the first officer in U.S. history to serve two non-consecutive terms as the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
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Marines honor J.D. Vance by bronzing locker they shoved him in during service
Uncommon valor with common storage.
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In momentary lapse of judgment, female Silver Star winner focused on warfighting
"We’re all a little confused about how this happened."
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North Korean troops stunned by luxurious lifestyle of Russian counterparts
“This is what a true Communist nation looks like!” said a North Korean lieutenant.
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Russian Army implements mandatory 'bring your child to work' program
“You try leading a tank battalion while also finding a juice box for your kid during a mortar strike," said one lieutenant.
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Biden assures Ukrainians new aid package is for their freedom and totally not f-you to Trump
“Just in time before peace breaks out!” Biden declared. “Maybe.”
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DoD prepares brief for incoming SECDEF Pete Hegseth on who the fuck Pete Hegseth is
This is "information incoming Secretary Pete Hegseth is going to want to be aware of right away."
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Ukraine war victims glad Americans voted their conscience
“It’s just so inspiring and reassuring to see the pro-life vote out in force,” said Oksana Petrenko, a six-year-old from Mariupol.
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Navy creates concubine rating
“For the last time, this is not the same as SWCC."
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Mia Khalifa not taking veteran PTSD lying down
Porn star spreading word, legs as required
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Duffel Blog's guide to Trump's selection of Pete Hegseth as SECDEF
He was one of many candidates in the running. Here's the full list.
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Senator Tuberville puts hold on Veterans Day
Tuberville says his stance is not only morally correct but is also a means of solving a military personnel crisis.
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MEPS doctors say sedentary lifestyles bad for recruits’ supple bodies and soft, soft skin
“These are not the buttholes that defeated the Nazis."
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DoD: Mass shootings negatively impact recruiting quotas
“Honestly, that is the biggest tragedy,” said Navy recruiter and Tiktok dance sensation Petty Officer 2nd Class Drea Avila soberly.
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Patriotic soldier loves America so much he’s plotting to overthrow it
“The Founding Fathers didn’t have Twitter, but if they did, they’d be tweeting exactly what I’m thinking."
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Marines allowed to use knife hands as voter identification
When asked for comment, a spokesperson from the Marine Corps simply stated, “Yut.”
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Annual sorting cover ceremony sorts recruits into military branches
As recruit H. Potter was called forward, he was heard muttering, “Not Marines, not Marines."
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Veterans suffer flashbacks after watching comedian bomb
One vet described the onslaught as “comedic IEDs.”
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Lance corporal fears the worst now that his duty relief is 5 minutes late
"Five minutes late? Start checking the dumpsters.”
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Air Force solves pilot crisis by increasing service commitment to 20 years
Genius.
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Command and staff students excited to wargame upcoming civil war
"No one gets to launch tactical nukes at Philadelphia until they’re 100% complete on annual training.”
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Fort Cavazos solves housing crisis by giving up entirely
“Do we really want Pfc. Joe Garlic and his 2.5-yard apes tearing the place up?
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Skynet loses network access for overdue Cyber awareness challenge
“This Airman was like, 'Did you try using Firefox?' And I'm like, brother, I AM Firefox."
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Veterans advise hurricane relief recipients on Rat-fucking MREs
“People may have been evacuated by soldiers, but they don’t have to eat like them."
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