This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Latest dispatches
The story feed
Page 14 of 177
US condemned over airdrop of omelette MREs to Gaza
"We cannot stand idly by while the basic rights and tastes of Palestinians are trampled upon," said one resident.
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Walz faces court martial for “veteraning while Democrat”
"A profound betrayal of all men and women that put on the uniform.”
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Lance corporal asks squad leader to step aside for the good of the country
"For the good of the country and my own ass, he should step aside as squad leader.”
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Lieutenant not sure why he’s in this meeting
“I was told to be here at 1400, so I showed up."
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North Koreans celebrate Kim Jong un winning every Olympic gold medal
“The divine athleticism of our Dear Leader has shocked the war mongering West."
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SECDEF crushes 9/11 mastermind's skull with his bare hands
“KSM’s lawyers can try to appeal, of course, but it remains to be seen whether that is successful."
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Army judge rules E-4 mafia has immunity for official acts
Boosting E-4s fits in the judge's personal agenda she calls “Specialists First!”
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Project 2025 to cut veterans
GOP blueprint offers bold vision to sacrifice those who have sacrificed
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Air Force to pay allowance for mold-to-mold housing moves
“Military kids are fortunate to be exposed to things other kids don’t.”
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Marine Corps turned blind eye to furniture abuse epidemic
Barracks, offices, and off-base victims come forward
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Biden to start POTUS-themed coffee company
Say hello to "Malarkey Joe's"
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Department of Defense stands down after Microsoft Office subscription expires
Strangely, the Marine Corps has remained most resilient to this loss of electronic military communication.
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Army sniper school tests portable sloping roofs
“This is honestly the biggest game changer since night vision,” said Capt. Ryan Kowalski, commander of the Army Sniper School.
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Discord wins DoD server contract
The decision comes after high-ranking officials reportedly got “really into Among Us lobbies” and appreciated the platform’s robust emoji support.
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'We don't want you anyway!' Army launches reverse psychology recruiting campaign
“Most teens these days are too fat, stupid, and substance-addled to even be suitable for service,” said Staff Sergeant Simona Oppf.
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JD vance vows to represent fellow 'losers' and 'suckers' in White House
Former Cpl. promises to be a uniter, insufferable prick
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Ukraine war funding reduced to single CFC donation code
CFC sources report that even as little as $5 a paycheck can make a big difference in giving Ukrainians the additional 150,000 troops they need.
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Pentagon announces plan to eliminate joy
"Destroying happiness within our military is a good financial decision."
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Army debuts AI-powered NCOs to help with manpower crisis
“Now leave requests and sick call notifications can be declined without delay,” said General Randy George.
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ROTC commander somehow manages not to fuck a cadet
“We are checking our data because obviously this is unprecedented,” said Maj. Gen. Antonio Munera, Commanding General of Cadet Command
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Biden reminds everyone that he has presidential immunity
“Not that I had anything to do with those potshots at my Vice President Trump. I only killed Medicare.”
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Coffee company owner begins new career as Special Forces soldier
The transition from barista to elite soldier has not been without its hiccups.
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DoD bankrupt after Austin blows $300 billion at blackjack table
“Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never thought it would be a good idea to split 10s,” the Secretary remarked sternly.
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Study says VA unable to provide veterans relief that drugs and alcohol can
"One veteran even mentioned that his local bartender has never once put him on hold."
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President who dropped Afghans from sky asks why you thought Gaza pier would go any better
“God save the Queen, man, but we tried our best to alleviate the suffering of those Carthaginians there in the Plaza Strip,” said Biden.
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