This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Latest dispatches
The story feed
Page 48 of 178
Army headquarters commander demands more respect around here
FORT LEE, VA. — After six months in the company commander seat for the headquarters and headquarters company, Capt. Jairo Milan is wondering why he doesn’t get the same respect
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Kanye west interrupts your weekend safety brief
SHAW AFB, S.C. — Hey, yo Colonel, I'm real happy for you, and I'm gonna let you finish your safety brief, but I wanted to say
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SPOILER: Fort Hood isn’t ‘the great Place’—It’s the bad place
THE BAD PLACE — We knew Janet was too good to be true when she welcomed us at Fort Hood’s reception area. If only we were more perceptive, we would
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SEAL Team 6 to ditch body armor to prove they’re not ‘p--sies’
In an act of solidarity with self-avowed super SEAL Rob O'Neill, members of the elite SEAL Team 6 said today they would no longer wear body armor
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Toxic Air Force colonel promoted to toxic Air Force general
THE PENTAGON — A toxic Air Force colonel who had previously berated her Wing subordinates to the point they would crawl under their desks and cry has been promoted to a
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Tardigrade selected as Space Force mascot
THE PENTAGRAM — During a Friday press conference, Gen. John W. "Jay" Raymond announced the selection of the Tardigrade as the official Space Force mascot. "Much like the
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Coffee station receives unit’s sole Bronze Star from recent deployment
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — Following a recent deployment to Afghanistan plagued by low morale and “low energy,” soldiers from the 504th Military Police Battalion came together this week to watch the
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Homeless veteran sleeps under DD-214 blanket
CHARLESTON, W.V. — Less than a year after separating from the Army as a first lieutenant, Daniel Cummings has found himself sleeping on the streets of West Virginia under a
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Biblical scholars: King David was the original 'Jody'
BOSTON, Mass. — Biblical scholars at the Boston University School of Theology made a momentous announcement earlier today: King David of Bethlehem, the ancestor of Jesus Christ known for slaying the
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Nation shocked to learn Army North nowhere near Canada border
FORT SAM HOUSTON, Texas — Everyone in the United States was shocked overnight to learn that U.S. Army North is actually nowhere near Canada, according to sources who are terrified
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Black soldier feels safer on post because MPs aren’t real cops
JOINT BASE LEWIS-MCCHORD, Washington – Specialist Michael Webb elected to remain on post this past weekend rather than attend a protest in nearby Seattle citing concerns over police violence towards
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'Near-peer threat' just 3 Afghanistans in a trench coat
THE PENTAGON — A leaked intelligence report has revealed that the much vaunted "near-peer threat" the Defense Department has been preparing to do battle with is, in fact,
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Army chief says service doing great, has ‘pretty much no problems’
WASHINGTON – Breaking with his peers and the entire history of the Defense Department, the Chief of Staff of the Army said today that the service is in absolutely, perfectly great
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National Guard never realized how beautiful Kenosha was until they saw it burning to ground
KENOSHA, Wis. — Members of the Wisconsin National Guard say that they never truly appreciated the beauty of the city of Kenosha until they saw it burning to the ground. The
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E-7 caught field stripping for tips
FORT CARSON, Co. — Sgt. First Class Ted Carmichael is facing UCMJ discipline after being caught field stripping for cash tips during his battalion’s 3rd quarter field training exercise. Class
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After shark attack, Coast Guard asks Congress for a bigger boat
WASHINGTON DC — A Coast Guard spokesperson has admitted that after the USCGC Kimball was forced to fire on a shark during the crew’s swim call, the service has told
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TikToking Lieutenant excited to meet Army chief of staff ahead of peers
FORT STEWART, Ga. — In the wake of his TikTok video that went viral for an anti-Semitic joke, 2nd Lt. Norton Friedheim has fallen under the spot light of every
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Army-Navy game to be renamed 'Suckers vs. Losers bowl'
WASHINGTON — The Defense Secretary on Tuesday ordered the Army-Navy Game renamed to Suckers vs. Losers Bowl in order to better reflect White House policy changes toward the military. “President
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Americans outraged that Trump is publicly voicing their private contempt for military service
WASHINGTON — Americans everywhere are condemning President Donald Trump for allegedly calling dead American soldiers "suckers" and "losers" in 2018, publicly voicing opinions of contempt for the
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Army stunned to learn Fort Hood had commander
FORT HOOD, Texas — Following the announcement that the U.S. Army had removed Maj. Gen. Scott Efflandt from command of Fort Hood, sources report that leading up to this action
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Force recon Marine writes tell-all coloring book
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — A Force Recon Marine has recently published his first tell-all coloring book, according to sources at both Chuck E. Cheese and Books-a-Billion in
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Hodor of house Stark gives your weekend safety brief
WINTERFELL, Westeros — "Gather round warriors of Winterfell and prepare for the brief of safety to be given by our beloved Hodor" said Arya Stark, as the first snow
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Grand Theft Auto Fort Hood 'a little too realistic'
KILLEEN, Texas — After a week of beta testing, the Army's E-Sports gaming team has reported that the Fort Hood version of the newest installment of the wildly
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New Army fitness test measures how much pain you can endure over 20 years
THE PENTAGON -- Army leaders announced the introduction of a new physical fitness test that measures resilience and muscular endurance by testing how much pain a soldier can feel over 20
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Homemade SCIF just a closet covered in aluminum foil
TED”S ROOT CELLAR — The System of Humans In The Anti-Illuminati Militia concluded an inspection of a remote SCIF in Florida designed to keep out the NSA, Bigfoot, JFK&
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