Rick: Okay, listen [belch] up. I'm going to keep this short, not because I think you won't listen - I know [belch] you won't. But I can't legally let you sub-moronic idiots go without reading some boi-[belch]-ler plate so you can get on with the rest your insignificant, miserable lives.

Morty: But we... we’re not miserable Rick! We want to go on leave and...

Rick: Of course you do, Morty! If you’ll let me proceed. So [belch] where do I begin? Well first off...sex--er “partner assisted PT." If you’re going to get schwifty, always use a condom. If you don’t use a condom, your hormones will be your undoing, sending you on the downward spiral of disappointment. Inevitably a resentful stripper soon-to-be-ex-wife who will use your power of attorney to sell your Mustang to run off an elope with Jody and perhaps most annoyingly kids! Kids make you combat ineffective, Morty!

Morty: I didn’t make my parents combat ineffective, Rick!