The following is an op-ed written by a soldier in your S-6 communications section.

Oh, well now, there's your problem, soldier — the fucking doohicky ain't in that there thingamajig. Turn her right 'round and look under the hangin' on the bit that looks like a bump on the ass — that's where you'll find the solution.

Normally S-6 could just slide that puppy right on up in there, but because of this other bit (which no one else even noticed) ain't even, God darn it, attached to the doohickey! Lordy! Now, that ain't a thing to get worked up over either, that's somethin' we can just sticka-roo right back on there with a bit of spit-gristle.

Unfortunately, the female-end connector for the digital thermoflodget was back ordered at the SSA, and the machine shop did not finish reconfoobling the megapickle until after the deadline had passed.