WASHINGTON — Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin announced this week that all active-duty service members will receive complimentary subscriptions to Citizenship Premium, guaranteeing uninterrupted access to most constitutional rights for as long as they remain useful to the federal government.

“Military members have made enormous sacrifices for this country,” Mullin said. “The least we can do is ensure they don’t have to pay extra for basic due process while they’re actively defending it.”

Citizenship Premium is the highest tier of the federal government’s new subscription-based citizenship model, which allows Americans to access varying levels of constitutional protection based on employment, income, political usefulness and whether a federal agent is currently having a bad day.

Basic Citizenship remains free but includes advertisements, warrantless data collection, and occasional interruptions in Fourth Amendment service.

Citizenship Plus costs $4.20 per month and includes priority access to free speech, limited protection from unreasonable searches, and one complimentary habeas corpus petition annually.

Citizenship Premium normally costs $69.69 per month but will now be provided free to all active-duty troops.

“We need these people deployable,” Mullin said. “It’s very difficult to maintain readiness when half the platoon is trying to determine whether they’re technically allowed to exist.”

Pentagon officials praised the program after several service members expressed concern that immigration enforcement against military families might eventually expand to the troops themselves.

DHS emphasized that the military benefit applies only to the service member.

“Spouse coverage is sold separately,” Mullin said.

The clarification came after immigration authorities detained dozens of parents and spouses of active-duty troops and deported several of them despite their relatives’ military service.

“If your wife gets deported while you’re deployed, your Citizenship Premium remains completely unaffected,” Mullin said. “That’s the kind of stability military families deserve.”

Officials said service members whose spouses are removed from the country may qualify for a temporary Single Parent Readiness Upgrade, which includes 10 days of emergency leave and a link to Military OneSource.

One Army sergeant reportedly asked whether his wife could simply be added to his account.

“No,” Mullin said. “This isn’t Netflix.”

Military recruiters have been instructed to continue advertising service as a pathway to citizenship and immigration relief while adding an asterisk explaining that results may vary significantly for everyone the recruit loves.

The Pentagon also stressed that troops should not interpret family deportations as evidence their service is unappreciated.

“You are absolutely defending your family’s freedom,” said one Defense Department official. “We just never specified which country your family would be exercising that freedom in.”

Civil-rights groups criticized Citizenship Premium as unconstitutional, while congressional Democrats responded by posting several strongly worded graphics on social media explaining that America is better than this.

Republicans countered that anyone dissatisfied with their current citizenship tier should consider military service.

“That’s the beauty of the system,” Mullin said. “Everybody has an equal opportunity to earn their rights through honorable service, substantial campaign donations or being born into the correct family.”

At press time, DHS announced a new Military Family Add-On allowing troops to prevent one immediate relative from being deported for an additional $19.99 per month, plus fees.