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Ex-Army sniper prepares for potential VA healthcare cuts
"Look, I get it. Balancing the budget is hard," he said, gesturing toward a stack of unopened medical bills.
Dec 9, 2024 · 4 min read
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522 stories in this section
Annual sorting cover ceremony sorts recruits into military branches
As recruit H. Potter was called forward, he was heard muttering, “Not Marines, not Marines."
Oct 31, 2024 · 3 min read
Fort Cavazos solves housing crisis by giving up entirely
“Do we really want Pfc. Joe Garlic and his 2.5-yard apes tearing the place up?
Oct 21, 2024 · 2 min read
Wife of deployed soldier endorses Jody for Congress
"We all hear horror stories about Jody and Dear John letters, but I saw this on a campaign ad. I mean, what the fuck?”
Oct 16, 2024 · 3 min read
Army establishes virtue signal Corps
The operational support branch is responsible for self-righteous, performative displays of arbitrary moral superiority across all domains of warfare.
Oct 4, 2024 · 4 min read
4 reasons why Duffel Blog should moderate the VP debate
We’ll ask the hard-hitting questions.
Sep 30, 2024 · 2 min read
Guardsman solves horse-sized duck vs. duck-sized horses field problem
The barracks room debate is over, thanks to the National Guard.
Sep 27, 2024 · 3 min read
Pentagon reveals soldiers have eaten cats and dogs for decades
"It turns out that the mysterious meat served in DFACs was not the ‘Grade-H beef’ we claimed."
Sep 16, 2024 · 3 min read
Opinion: This page maliciously left blank
You can’t control Ctrl+F me? Well, Ctrl+F you, pal.
Aug 28, 2024 · 3 min read
Walz faces court martial for “veteraning while Democrat”
"A profound betrayal of all men and women that put on the uniform.”
Aug 19, 2024 · 3 min read
Lieutenant not sure why he’s in this meeting
“I was told to be here at 1400, so I showed up."
Aug 14, 2024 · 2 min read
Army judge rules E-4 mafia has immunity for official acts
Boosting E-4s fits in the judge's personal agenda she calls “Specialists First!”
Aug 9, 2024 · 4 min read
Army sniper school tests portable sloping roofs
“This is honestly the biggest game changer since night vision,” said Capt. Ryan Kowalski, commander of the Army Sniper School.
Jul 29, 2024 · 4 min read
'We don't want you anyway!' Army launches reverse psychology recruiting campaign
“Most teens these days are too fat, stupid, and substance-addled to even be suitable for service,” said Staff Sergeant Simona Oppf.
Jul 26, 2024 · 3 min read
Ukraine war funding reduced to single CFC donation code
CFC sources report that even as little as $5 a paycheck can make a big difference in giving Ukrainians the additional 150,000 troops they need.
Jul 22, 2024 · 3 min read
Army debuts AI-powered NCOs to help with manpower crisis
“Now leave requests and sick call notifications can be declined without delay,” said General Randy George.
Jul 19, 2024 · 4 min read
Coffee company owner begins new career as Special Forces soldier
The transition from barista to elite soldier has not been without its hiccups.
Jul 13, 2024 · 4 min read
Army falls short of robot recruiting goal
"This robot generation is different. No work ethic. No value for service," complained one recruiter.
Jul 1, 2024 · 3 min read
Army issues burlap sacks of grain as new retention bonus
“Excuse me? I’m getting what for reenlisting?”
Jun 24, 2024 · 3 min read
National Guard breaks up college protest by throwing enlistment flyers at crowd
“All I had to do was tell them they have to wake up before 8 a.m. two days a month and that’s all it took."
Jun 22, 2024 · 3 min read
Creepiest NCO selected as unit SHARP rep
The best man for the job, unit leaders say.
Jun 12, 2024 · 3 min read
SMA’s weekend safety brief at GITMO deemed 'cruel and unusual'
“Don’t add to the population and don't subtract from the population."
Jun 8, 2024 · 3 min read
Army to host next SWCS change of command ceremony on OnlyFans
At least we can "monetize our mishaps," says General.
Jun 5, 2024 · 3 min read
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