This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
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Coffee company owner begins new career as Special Forces soldier
The transition from barista to elite soldier has not been without its hiccups.
Jul 13, 2024 · 4 min read
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529 stories in this section
National Guard breaks up college protest by throwing enlistment flyers at crowd
“All I had to do was tell them they have to wake up before 8 a.m. two days a month and that’s all it took."
Jun 22, 2024 · 3 min read
Creepiest NCO selected as unit SHARP rep
The best man for the job, unit leaders say.
Jun 12, 2024 · 3 min read
SMA’s weekend safety brief at GITMO deemed 'cruel and unusual'
“Don’t add to the population and don't subtract from the population."
Jun 8, 2024 · 3 min read
Army to host next SWCS change of command ceremony on OnlyFans
At least we can "monetize our mishaps," says General.
Jun 5, 2024 · 3 min read
Has your child joined the Army? You may be entitled to compensation
Does your child wear a backpack to the mall? Someone owes you money
Jun 3, 2024 · 3 min read
Experts agree: ‘The sound of freedom’ is actually tinnitus
3M CEO: 'Tinnitus is patriotism and vice versa.'
May 20, 2024 · 2 min read
Terminally ill vet gets wish to jerk it one last time in Iraq
American hero can only orgasm at 105 degrees amidst the smell of blue fluid
May 11, 2024 · 3 min read
2nd Lt. Who locked up chief Warrant officer 5 commended for finding elusive chief Warrant officer 5
Young officer was looking for Pokemon at the time
May 6, 2024 · 3 min read
Fauci admits military decision making process not based on science
"Unsurprised" Tucker Carlson recommends tanning taint instead
Apr 29, 2024 · 2 min read
Soldier wrestles with starting a profile on LinkedIn or OnlyFans
One is rife with costumes and masturbation, the other has naked pictures
Apr 19, 2024 · 2 min read
Army introduces 'cereal for dinner' DFAC program
Tiny marshmallows deemed "key to soldier nutrition".
Mar 30, 2024 · 2 min read
'Army am lowering standards more for morer recruit', says Army
Polls indicate youth may not like mold-choked barracks, food insecurity.
Mar 25, 2024 · 2 min read
‘Declaration of military accountability’ written entirely in Comic Sans
“We needed a font that would be taken as seriously as we are.”
Jan 3, 2024 · 2 min read
The 12 days of extra duty
Merry Christmas, Boot. You got firewatch.
Dec 11, 2023 · 2 min read
Turn your access to classified information into a side hustle with these five steps
What could go wrong? This is easy money.
Dec 6, 2023 · 3 min read
Army football player has no idea he'll eventually be relieved from command
But we all saw it coming.
Dec 4, 2023 · 1 min read
38-year-old soldier uses GI bill to go to Hogwarts
Whomping Willows aside, he will still need to certify enrollment
Nov 28, 2023 · 3 min read
Army authorizes women to grow beards
Downstairs is probably gonna become a nightmare.
Nov 20, 2023 · 3 min read
OEF Sergeant Major still worries about the tidy grass he left behind
AY TERRY! I KNOW THE MADRASSAH AIN'T TEACH YOU TO CRAP ON NO LAWN!
Sep 11, 2023 · 1 min read
Schrödinger's Specialist baffles philosophers and platoon sergeants alike
What is a sham but a perception?
Sep 11, 2023 · 3 min read
Fort Cavazos soldier discovers body while dumpster diving for food
Upside alert! Decomposing corpses are an appetite suppressant!
Aug 14, 2023 · 1 min read
Retirement ceremony could have been retirement e-mail
How does "Honorable if Unexceptional" sound for a plaque?
Jul 6, 2023 · 1 min read
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