This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Latest
Army creates new ‘future douchebag politician’ MOS
Republicans and Democrats 100% unified in support
Jun 26, 2023 · 2 min read
Year
Sort
Latest stories
529 stories in this section
Army casts Jonathan Majors in new murder mystery set at Fort Hood
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Apr 6, 2023 · 1 min read
U.S. Army W.T.F! Moments changes name to "sadly, no longer surprising Army moments"
"Yeah, that tracks," acknowledges Army spokesman
Apr 4, 2023 · 2 min read
With possible new charges, Baldwin offered Army or jail
You're in the Army now?
Apr 3, 2023 · 1 min read
Russian Army officer touts 'open window' policy to new recruits
Leadership 101, folks.
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
Army: Dahmer missed several mandatory SHARP trainings
PowerPoint saves lives.
Mar 28, 2023 · 1 min read
Army approves OnlyFans donations for soldier emergency relief
The money is already rolling in.
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
Kid dressed as Army recruiter misses candy goal by 20%
It was one big trick on the pretend Staff Sgt.
Mar 28, 2023 · 3 min read
Army official holds up pat Donahoe's severed head during speech
"I wanted to make an example of him," Army Secretary Christine Wormuth said.
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
Army to replace robots with cheaper, more expendable Marines
‘Human-Marine Teaming’ is here
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
Army unit tear-gases soldiers for de-morale event
"The purpose of this event was to destroy unit cohesion."
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
Winning Army touchdown downgraded to field goal after brigade S-1 review
A cadet rating a field goal? No way.
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
Russian Army-Navy game ends in HIMARS strike
A winning score.
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
Army unit regrets combo toys for tots/ammunition amnesty box
Base legal did not review this.
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
2nd Lieutenant for sale to a good home
The Army gave us a few cans of dip to post this classified ad.
Mar 28, 2023 · 3 min read
Waffle house employees to teach Army combatives
Soldiers will learn how to wield a waffle iron as a weapon.
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
Army unveils new logo that totally doesn’t resemble a butthole
You can't unsee it.
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
Milley accidentally types ‘hot goth girls’ into teams chat with Joint Chiefs
First PLT, Company C, 1/502 supportive: "Oh, hell yeah."
Jan 9, 2023 · 1 min readChinook catches Army flirting with younger, thinner aircraft
PENTAGON — Long rumored tensions came to a head as the CH-47 Chinook Helicopter confronted the U.S. Army after discovering suggestive text messages on the Army’s
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min readArmy strategists much better at planning fantasy wars instead of war in Afghanistan
WASHINGTON, DC – Sources suggest the current crop of Army Strategists are experts at the strategic implications of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Game of Thrones, despite
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min readArmy not looking forward to prostate exam after 244th birthday
WASHINGTON—The Army will celebrate its birthday today with the rite of passage every service endures once it reaches a certain age, the dreaded prostate exam, sources say.
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readBREAKING: Your weekend has been canceled, because Army
FORT BRAGG, NC—In what is both breaking news and a depressingly familiar twist of fate, your upcoming weekend has been cancelled because Army, numerous sources report. Mass
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readUS Army to drop ‘US’ from name over past links to slavery
WASHINGTON—Since 1775, the United States has had an Army, and for most of those 244 years it has been called the “United States Army.” But now the
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
Scroll for more
