This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Section archive
Marine Corps
Marines: solving every problem with either a knife hand or C4.
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Navy corpsman refuses to give Motrin, tourniquets
“I am making Havoc healthy again,” says Kennedy.
Feb 3, 2025 · 3 min read
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177 stories in this section
SOF in crisis after POG terrorist stacks more bodies than career Green Beret
"Our nation expects only the best from SOF, including their transition to the crazed veteran life."
Jan 6, 2025 · 3 min read
Marines honor J.D. Vance by bronzing locker they shoved him in during service
Uncommon valor with common storage.
Dec 2, 2024 · 2 min read
MEPS doctors say sedentary lifestyles bad for recruits’ supple bodies and soft, soft skin
“These are not the buttholes that defeated the Nazis."
Nov 8, 2024 · 3 min read
Marines allowed to use knife hands as voter identification
When asked for comment, a spokesperson from the Marine Corps simply stated, “Yut.”
Nov 1, 2024 · 4 min read
Annual sorting cover ceremony sorts recruits into military branches
As recruit H. Potter was called forward, he was heard muttering, “Not Marines, not Marines."
Oct 31, 2024 · 3 min read
Lance corporal fears the worst now that his duty relief is 5 minutes late
"Five minutes late? Start checking the dumpsters.”
Oct 28, 2024 · 3 min read
New Marine barracks policy to allow one small animal, catboy, or furry
"This is a huge step forward for inclusivity in the Corps," said Lt. Col. Nathan Fluffmaster.
Oct 7, 2024 · 3 min read
4 reasons why Duffel Blog should moderate the VP debate
We’ll ask the hard-hitting questions.
Sep 30, 2024 · 2 min read
Semi-literate gunny won’t stop saying 'demure'
He reads at a third-grade level.
Sep 20, 2024 · 4 min read
5 dead, 3 hospitalized after airmen try MREs on a dare
Don't try this at home, kids.
Sep 4, 2024 · 2 min read
Corpsman recommends masturbating into clean, dry socks
'Yes, CLP is a lubricant. No, it is not meant for you'
Sep 2, 2024 · 4 min read
Opinion: This page maliciously left blank
You can’t control Ctrl+F me? Well, Ctrl+F you, pal.
Aug 28, 2024 · 3 min read
Is America ready for a POG vice president?
“I thought I could trust J.D., but this changes everything,” said Gertrude Witherscotch, an 87-year-old voter.
Aug 23, 2024 · 3 min read
Lance corporal asks squad leader to step aside for the good of the country
"For the good of the country and my own ass, he should step aside as squad leader.”
Aug 16, 2024 · 3 min read
Marine Corps turned blind eye to furniture abuse epidemic
Barracks, offices, and off-base victims come forward
Aug 3, 2024 · 4 min read
Marines who jerked off in porta-potty welcome newborn chemical monster on Father’s Day
“We’re still not sure how this happened, but why question the miracle of life?”
Jun 15, 2024 · 4 min read
Navy announces USS Hamid Karzai International Airport As Second ship in new despair-class
'We want to truly honor America's modern record of military success'
May 31, 2024 · 3 min read
Experts agree: ‘The sound of freedom’ is actually tinnitus
3M CEO: 'Tinnitus is patriotism and vice versa.'
May 20, 2024 · 2 min read
Marines surveyed about quality of life agree they would like some
Maybe just basic human rights and toasters in the barracks?
May 15, 2024 · 3 min read
Retired 4-stars occupy campus of Marine Corps University
Almost six retired Generals, four retired Colonels, and a host of personal staff assembled
May 13, 2024 · 3 min read
Marine ranks animals by how well he could take them in a fight
Bro. Seriously though, bro. Like, a snake is all neck if you think about it.
Feb 24, 2024 · 3 min read
USMC plan to 'kill ships from islands' frustrated by Lance Cpl. plan to 'kill shit right here'
PLA 'bout to get wrecked by 160 lbs of Monster, Copenhagen, and tattoos
Dec 22, 2023 · 2 min read
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