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Lance Cpl. Extends 248th Birthday Ball TikTok invite to Rep. Lauren Boebert
Lance Cpl. Handslip: "I got this on lock, son!"
Jul 31, 2023 · 2 min readMarine Corps
Marines: solving every problem with either a knife hand or C4.
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Marine Corps rolls out Portapotty 2030
Bold plan overcomes strategic constipation
May 8, 2023 · 4 min read
Breakthrough in Marine Corps technology now allows for shorts so short they reside inside the wearer’s butthole
Schmedium no longer enough
Apr 7, 2023 · 3 min read
USMC 'Training and Education 2030' calls for 70% Marine literacy within decade
Out: Coloring books and crayons. In: Comic books and Letters to Penthouse
Apr 7, 2023 · 3 min read
Donald Trump forced to move to barracks following NJP
"Only I can survive the ninja punch," says former reality star
Apr 6, 2023 · 3 min read
Marine Corps to start using computers
This would be a major shift.
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
Court takes everything from guy with 'Molon Labe' tattoo
"They came and they took it all"
Mar 28, 2023 · 2 min read
The six guys who hit on your wife at every Marine Corps Birthday Ball
We’ve all heard the saying “Trust a Marine with your life, not your wife.” Those words ring truest on November 10, when Marines gather to celebrate their
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min readMarine Corps introduces maternity body armor
QUANTICO, Va. – After year of extensive testing, the Marine Corps announced it would begin issuing maternity body armor to expectant mothers and corpulent colonels by fiscal year 2021.
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readSgt. Maj. of the Marine Corps says he can quit getting haircuts whenever he wants
THE PENTAGON — Sgt. Maj. of the Marine Corps Troy E. Black screamed at the press today during a conference, saying, “I can quit getting haircuts whenever I want!
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readMarine Corps excited not to be first to infect everyone this time
PENTAGON — As the Joint Chiefs of Staff (JCS) settle in for a two-week quarantine following Coast Guard Vice Commandant Charles W. Ray’s positive coronavirus test, Marine
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readCelebrities devastated by lack of invitations to Marine Corps balls
QUANTICO, Va. — Celebrities everywhere are devastated by cancellations of this year's Marine Corps balls due to Covid-19, sources report. “Every year I hope some teenager
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
New 6-foot Marine Corps bayonet protects against COVID-19
WASHINGTON — The Marine Corps has begun issuing a new socially distanced bayonet that is six feet in length, Brigadier General Spanky Sicklecell announced yesterday. “Stabbing the enemy at
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readMarine Lance Corporal tries to attack Japan after watching ‘Pearl Harbor’ movie
KANEOHE BAY, HI - A Marine stationed aboard Marine Corps Base Hawaii recently went on a personal mission to attack Japan. Lance Corporal James Vanhue, of 1st Battalion, 3rd
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readPanetta: Defense cuts will be ‘especially tough’ on Marine Corps
OCEANSIDE, CA - Defense Secretary Leon Panetta said Thursday night that the Marine Corps would be "deeply affected" by the coming cuts in the defense budget. Speaking
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
Marine scout sniper 'burning cross' logo raises controversy
CAMP PENDLETON, CA – The Marine Corps' Scout Sniper community has once again found itself embroiled in controversy this week, following the recent unveiling of a new unit
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
Son proudly follows in father's, grandfather's footsteps in faking military service
CLEVELAND, Ohio – John Jakeman always knew he wanted to be a fake veteran, ever since he grew up following his father Sullivan "Sully" Jakeman around to
Oct 5, 2022 · 3 min readTerminal Lance creator revealed to be Sergeant Major of Marine Corps
CAMP LEJEUNE, NC – Enlisted Marines everywhere were stunned this week after learning that the creator of enlisted-life comic strip Terminal Lance is actually former Sgt. Maj. of
Oct 5, 2022 · 3 min read
USS Haditha accidentally sinks fishing boat, machine-guns survivors
MANAMA, Bahrain — In a rare setback for the international anti-piracy campaign off Somalia, U.S. Navy officials today admitted that the American warship USS Haditha accidentally sank
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min readPETA: Marine Corps terminology, ‘leatherneck’ term promotes animal abuse
CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. — A peaceful protest outside the main gate of Camp Pendleton has erupted into violence today as Marines and activists continue to spar over military terminology.
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min readChaos: General James Mattis announced as next commandant of Marine Corps
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a controversial move sure to send shockwaves throughout the Corps, President Obama announced today that Commandant of the Marine Corps Gen. Jim Amos will
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min readReport: Base Corporal always in PT gear
CAMP PENDLETON, CA - From morning to evening colors, Base Supply Corporal Michael Jennings' attire is always green shorts, Nikes and a green skivvy shirt, sources reported Friday.
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readFollowing cultural awareness class, Marines burn down own embassy
KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA –The anti-American protests spreading throughout the Islamic world over an anti-Muslim film took a startling turn today when the Marine Security Detachment at
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
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