Marine Corps admits 5.0 Marines actually exist

QUANTICO, VA - The Marine Corps released an administrative message Friday admitting that despite what many of its staff non-commissioned officers (SNCO's) have claimed over the

Marine Corps releases new ‘Red Dawn’ recruiting commercial to theaters

QUANTICO, VA - Marine Corps officials are hailing the release of Red Dawn, the latest recruiting commercial to hit movie theaters nationwide. The roughly 90-minute spot, which hits

Returning patrol enjoys Thanksgiving feast of otis Spunkmeyer, near beer

NAWA, Afghanistan — A Marine infantry platoon with Echo Co. 2nd Battalion 7th Marines was pleasantly surprised today after they were greeted with an amazing Thanksgiving feast upon returning

New study shows PTSD, alcohol lead to increased sexual performance

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A new study released last week suggests that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can not only be cured through copious amounts of alcohol consumption, but

Military to stop adding saltpeter to chow

WASHINGTON, DC - Boot Camp just got a little bit harder. Military officials announced that Basic Training dining facilities will stop adding saltpeter to their meals, as part of

New Marine Corps show fights humor with humor

FORT MEADE, MD – Faced with the proliferation of unapproved military humor sites that undermine good order and discipline, the Marine Corps has launched its own official humor show

Marine Corps struggles to keep up with massive influx of female volunteers for Infantry

QUANTICO, VA — Marine Corps officials confirmed Monday they were having a difficult time keeping up with the thousands of females applying to the Infantry Officer Course, with some

Marine Corps establishes 'service utilities' for more professional look

CAMP PENDLETON, CA - In a bold move designed to bring professionalism to new heights, the Marine Corps is introducing a new uniform regulation, tentatively dubbed, "Service Utilities.

Commandant attempts to fire entire Marine Corps

WASHINGTON, D.C. - "Fire them! Fire them all!" raved Gen. James Amos, foaming at the mouth as he was escorted to a waiting police cruiser in

Camp leatherneck begins hunger strike

CAMP LEATHERNECK, AFGHANISTAN — Marines at Camp Leatherneck have begun a base-wide hunger strike in an attempt to draw attention to what they described as the "appalling&

Fighting suicide: Marines try posthumous non-judicial punishment

CAMP LEJEUNE, NC – "Marines are not allowed to die without permission!" R. Lee Ermey's character famously tells a group of recruits in the 1987

Army study finds Marines' Tun Tavern was actually a gay bar

We sorta saw this coming.

Hollywood planning remake of 'Sands of Iwo Jima'

LOS ANGELES, CA — Paramount Pictures has confirmed rumors that it has begun pre-production on a remake of the John Wayne classic film, Sands of Iwo Jima. The

Marine Corps limiting liquor sales in effort to keep troops fighting mad

A typical Marine Corps Wednesday. QUANTICO, VA — The Marine Corps is taking steps to limit on-base liquor sales as the first stage of the Corps' ramp-

Battalion flees Afghan district after discovering 'spider hole' containing giant arachnid

KAPISA PROVINCE, AFGHANISTAN – A battalion of soldiers has unexpectedly and completely withdrawn from its Area of Operations after discovering a "spider-hole" containing a giant arachnid.

Marine Corps Marathon spawns less-successful Marine Corps Spelling Bee

QUANTICO, Va. – Despite a relatively high turnout and a large amount of publicity, Marine officials announced that this year's first Marine Corps Spelling Bee — an offshoot

Marine eating 238 pies in honor of Marine Corps birthday

CAMP LEATHERNECK, AFGHANISTAN - Marines honor the history of the Corps in many different ways: running 238 miles, doing 238 pull-ups, or 238 push-ups, but one Marine

General Mattis crosses Potomac with 100,000 troops; President, Senate flee city

WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented turn in American history, retired Marine Gen. James Mattis, several years after being dismissed by the President and exiled to his estate in the

Nation's veterans demand farmland in Gaul

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A delegation from the American Legion had a meeting today with several leading senators to demand suitable farmland for the nation's landless veterans

Amos to reawaken spirit of Marine Corps through trial-by-combat

WASHINGTON — The Marine Corps' top leader announced a new "trial-by-combat" program Friday, adding another controversial step in his campaign to stem self-destructive

Judge to justin Bieber: Join the Marine Corps or go to jail

MIAMI — A Miami judge is giving troubled pop star Justin Bieber a choice in punishment following his arrest on Thursday: Join the Marine Corps or go to jail.

A first sergeant flipped his desk in anger. What happened next will make you shit your pants.