Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
20,000+readers briefed
Navy

Marine Lance Corporal tries to attack Japan after watching ‘Pearl Harbor’ movie

KANEOHE BAY, HI - A Marine stationed aboard Marine Corps Base Hawaii recently went on a personal mission to attack Japan.

Lance Corporal James Vanhue, of 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines, described as a "warrior drinker" by his platoon, went on a drunken bender that started on Friday night.

His latest vendetta, against the tiny island nation, began in his barracks room. As he drank what he called "a ridiculous amount of beer" and watched the 2001 film "Pearl Harbor", he became enraged.

"I can't believe Danny died," as he took another swig of Budweiser and sobbed. "These damn Japs [sic] need to pay!"

More Stories

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!